Are you Divorced? God Divorced Also

Special Musing on Divorce (Deut. 24:1-4)

(Originally written on April 7th, 2012, and posted in the group Bible Musings Book by Book )

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, ²when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, ³if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, ⁴then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Deut. 24:1-4

How to Properly and Lawfully Divorce Someone - In the ancient near eastern civilization back then, the culture was such that men treated women as property. Men disposed of women easily. In an attempt to adjust that behavior, Israel law was written to have men treat women with some respect. In actuality it was forcing men to humble themselves but giving a bill of divorce to a woman. Normally men would think it was beneath them to do anything formal like this, for after all, women are property. This is reason why Deut 24 was written the way it was, understanding the ancient near eastern context at the time this was written. Note also it was allowed to remarry as long as you have a bill of divorce. You just not allowed to go back to first husband

Deuteronomy 24 emphasizes two things:

1.) that the proper procedure for the dissolution of a marriage is not perpetual separation that is, you don’t just put away the woman or just separate from each other, without legal documents. You must absolutely give a bill or certificate of divorce. Then she has evidence that her husband has no claims on her and she is free to remarry. Normally men would think this was beneath them to this, after all men's lives matters only. This put a pause to that,

2.) Note it was allow to remarry if you had a bill of divorce. The law emphasized that you are not allowed to return to your first husband, even if there is dissolution of a second marriage with subsequent divorce and a second bill of divorce, or even after the second husband dies. You already treated her badly and indicated you did not want her because yo thought she was unclean. That is defilement and God frowns on that. It is interesting to note that this law does not forbid remarriage in general. To remarry you ABSOLUTELY need a bill of divorce. An existing bill of divorce indicates that the husband has no more claims of marital rights. However while remarriage was permitted, you see that God views all subsequent re-marriages back to the first husband is a form of defilement and pollution, especially when that husband treated you badly.

Auxiliary point: If you are separated, YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. If you are not living in the same house YOU ARE STILL MARRIED. You cannot just go and hook up with someone else, just because you intend to divorce. It is not official, until you get a certificate of divorce.
Reasons for Divorce: - According to Moses’ law, when a man marries a woman and in the eyes of the husband, he does not find grace in her (same usage of the word in “Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord”) or something was discovered in her nakedness (that is made open and naked which was previously covered up; the literal meaning of uncleanness), then a man can give her a certificate of divorce in her hand.

So what was this "uncleanness" or "discovered nakedness" that cause the man to fall out of favor with his wife?

This could not have been as a result of adultery since the penalty of adultery is death (for both man and woman) not divorce [Lev. 20:10].

This could not have been as the result of one being found promiscuous before marriage, because the penalty is death also if proven to be true [Deut. 22:20-21].

So it does seem that one can divorce for any reason, under Moses’ law. Irreconcilable differences anyone?

So what else can cause a divorce? From the woman’s point of view, a hint is given in the case of a bond servant where [Exodus 21:10-11] shows that if woman is not treated properly, and is not being provided with food, clothing and marital rights (that is general loss of favor, as especially evidenced when the man takes another wife) then she must be set free. So a woman can legally ask for a divorce when the marriage is a sham. - So divorce was permitted as a way to dissolve a marriage for other reasons (not explicitly given) when adultery or promiscuity was not involved, as the latter results in death not divorce.
How Did God apply this law to Himself - God used this law to also dissolve the contract He had with Israel. He divorced her and sent her out of the land, by issuing a bill of divorce also [Isa. 50:1].

So the shocker is God Himself is a divorcee. (God married old Israel on Mt. Sinai. The Old Covenant was a marriage covenant)

- God had divorced Israel and sent her away because she was adulterous. [Jer. 3:8]. God was being merciful. He kept wanting her to return before He took drastic measures. [Jer 3:14-15] “14 Return, O backsliding children, saith Jehovah; for I am a husband unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: 15 and I will give you shepherds according to my heart, who shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.” She deserved death for her adultery. So Divorce was actually merciful. See how God works?
- Lawful divorce is a result of sin, a breaking of the contact. Divorce itself is not a sin. Just make sure you were not the sinful party else repent and turn back to God. In spite of all of this God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) - Here is the ultimate mystery. How can Israel return to God after He divorced her. Is this not an abomination is His eyes? This is exactly the argument when He declared: [Jer 3:1] God says, "If a husband divorces his wife, And she goes from him, And belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? But you are a harlot with many lovers; Yet you turn to Me," declares the LORD.” If the law is fully applied (and remember God is lawful, we are the ones lawless), he cannot take her back in, unless, according to the law, she returns to a new man. This is exactly what has happen. When Christ died on the cross, and rose again, He was according to the law, a different, new man and legally she can return to Him. She has no excuse. She is released from the law, so she can marry another This also one of Paul’s point in Roms. 7:3.
What did Christ have to say about This? - Christ elaborated on this in [Matthew 5:31-32]. In context Christ was addressing the issue of committing adultery; hence He is expanding upon the intent of the law in Deut. 24. His point was that behind the law there was a higher law of the spirit, of divine intent. This is why He indicated that if you just looked at a woman with lust, you have committed adultery.

Christ said “Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement [the proper way to divorce someone is to give a bill of divorce when separating]: 32 but I say unto you, that every one that put away his wife [without a written bill of divorce], saving for the cause of fornication [Greek word is porneias.. we will explore this later], makes her an adulteress [that is if fornication is the reason, and there was NO bill of divorce, then She is NOT an adulteress]: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away [without a bill of divorce] commits adultery. [Matt 5:31-32]

Note: put away is not the same as divorce. To put away is just a separation.

The greek word for put away is Greek "apolysē", that is, to send someone away. For it to be a proper divorce you have to give a written bill of divorcement. He confirms that the law says if you put away (separate from) a woman you must give a bill of divorce so as to not accuse the woman of adultery. If you put away a woman, that is separate from her, without a bill of divorce, you have already caused her to commit adultery, and the person who marries her commits adultery also. There is only one exception, where a written bill of divorce was not required, and that is for fornication.

- What is fornication? It is actually separate from adultery (although it can include adultery). It covers when one wants to go into His Father’s wife [1 Cor. 5:1], sex with an unmarried woman and prostitution [Ex. 22:16], going after strange flesh like sodomy [Jude 7]. So fornication is the term which represents all forms of unlawful unions/ marriages that aren’t really marriages at all. Even if gay folks marry, God does not consider that as a marriage so divorce is not applicable. So someone can invalidate a marriage contract via unlawful unions.
- So the real issue behind Deut 24, is not that divorce is not possible, but the fact that you can have a put away a woman or divorce for any reason. The Pharisees also asked Christ about this. He indicated that from the beginning it was not always like this and the real point is that God made two one flesh and you should not separate.
Why does Divorce Exists? Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” [Matt 19:3-12]

So why was there a law on divorce? The law was given because of hardness of men’s heart and in fact the only true reason for separation is an invalidation of the union because it really wasn’t a union in the first place (like gay marriage), or there was an unlawful joining during the union (, that is, adultery or sexual immorality).

So Divorce is ok in this case and if someone remarries; they do not commit adultery, if the reason for divorce, was that, a lawful union was invalidated because of fornication, before or after the marriage. - The Pharisees replied that if this is the true law, then no one should be married in the first place, and it is better not to marry. Interestingly this is the same argument today by many people and hence they cohabitate. Jesus did not disagree, in fact he said that men cannot accept this statement, except for those pre-disposed to not marry, by God. Who are those folks? [Matt 19:12] Well some were born without the ability or desire to marry, some were denied marriage by men, and others do so for the sake of the Kingdom. If you are one of those, don’t be forced to marry.
Divorce is not a sin. Divorce is not necessary a sin, it is as a result of sin and having the experience of an unlawful union, thereby nullifying the contact. Even God was a Divorcee. Just make sure you were not the sinful party else repent. You cannot just have long periods of separation and do whatever you want. You need a bill of divorce, so this a decision not one of passion but deliberation. You also cannot divorce for any reason. If you do, then don’t remarry if you can. Only in the case of fornication (see defined above), abuse, or when an unbeliever wants an annulment (seem below), when you remarry it is not considered as adultery.
But Paul said Do not seek a Divorce, and Do not Look for a Wife. Paul knowing that they were in crisis, in the latter days BACK THEN, right before Jerusalem was destroyed in AD 70 and before the Old Covenant passed way said [ 1 Cor 7:25-28] “26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are [Note: The present crisis was the tribulation occurring right up to AD 70, before Jerusalem was destroyed]. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, [Note: that is after a divorce] you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries [Note: that is the second case of those unmarried], she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, [Note: because Jerusalem was about to be destroyed and there were a lot of persecutions] and I want to spare you this.”

So, one can marry a divorcee who did not get divorced because of fornication?

Yes you can. The key is to do your due diligence. Did the person get a divorce based on any ole reason, or irreconcilable differences? Then buyer's beware and don't do it. God views it as adultery still. Was the divorce based on "fornication"? Then make sure you are not remarrying the one who did the fornicating!! :-) There are also two other cases for reasons to divorce mentioned elsewhere. The case of abuse and unbelieving spouse. God says He hates divorce but he also hates a man who wears violence as a garment, and deal treacherously with his wife. The point was this was a case where divorce was applicable and God judged Israel for breaking faith with their wives through abuse. [Mal 2:14-16] Don’t deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. The second case is when an unbelieving spouse wants to leave the relationship. You let them go. So if you are marrying a divorcee do your homework and pray according to Matt. 19, if it is better to remain unmarried. If not and you are doing things lawfully (yes even in grace and in the New Covenant, we cannot be lawless and ungoverned by the Spirit, after all, the law is written on our hearts), then this is fine.

And this is the second thing you do:
You cover the altar of the Lord with tears,
With weeping and crying;
So He does not regard the offering anymore,
Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.
¹⁴Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
¹⁵But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.

¹⁶“For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“Therefore take heed to your spirit,
That you do not deal treacherously.”

Summary

There is a difference between putting away (no bill of divorce, hence still married) and divorce (bill of divorcement)... In America, you go to the court or arbitrator and get your divorce settlement...

Before that, no matter how long it takes, you are still married. Don't be an adulterer.

You are not divorce and free to be with someone else, when your ex puts you out of your house or when you decide to separate. You are still married until you get that bill of divorce. In the Israelite culture if he puts her out or decides to separate and did not give her a signed bill of divorce, he is violating the law.... He causes her to be in a position to commit adultery.

In AMERICA.... you need to sign your divorce papers to be officially divorced.

If you get a notarized letter that you and your ex wrote and agreed upon, and if that is held up by the laws of the land, that’s fine.

Biblical Reasons for Divorce are

Adultery (including lust, porn)
Fornication (you engaged in sexual relationship before marriage and deceived the other, without full disclosure)
Abuse and neglect (including if a woman is not treated properly, and is not being provided with food, clothing and marital rights (that is general loss of favor, as especially evidenced when the man takes another wife) then she must be set free. So a woman can legally ask for a divorce when the marriage is a sham.)
Unbeliever wants out, wants an annulment.

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